To future Matt and Sarah, hopefully all cuddled on the sofa reading this together with a cup of cocoa recollecting the past and excited about the now!

Hey to if anyone is out there reading this... or if not hey to me and Sarah afew years from now where were going to be all married and happy.

Believe it or not but when I was writing this things were pretty tough. Sarah wasnt feeling too good and had a dire 10-14 days where things seemed to fall out of place big time. However I am a firm believer of things working out for the better even though right now things seem a little bad. Believing things are going to be better always makes it easier to go on and eventually make sense of those bad times and to capitalise on what you learn during them.

As im sitting next to Saree I hope right now Im sure we'll be able to see how things have worked out for the better. Part of doing this blog was also to capture the emotion and feeling of right now, in todays case being October 6th. Its a day id choose to rather not remember, in fact its a period of time id choose to brush under the carpet... but sometimes that doesnt always help. Right now things seem difficult but I know in my heart they will work out... As im reading this right now, 2/3 years on I hope to remember this time and think how we have grown since then. If your wondering what i mean by two or 3 years on future me or Sarah its that we both seem to be on track with what we want to do because we are married and in the same country and have jobs (im not going to be fussy about what. Just jobs will do right now. If i have a job thats super awesome congratulations future me! ). Esentially we are happy. Right now it feels a long way off but in the grand scheme of things it isnt. Nothing is a long way off though really, not even death and its how we choose to live our lives now and deal with the problems we face that affects our future lives. Im sure future Mattsy and Saree as your sitting on your sofa on a cold winters night can vouch for how slaving away at something yuo truly want can pay off, even if sometimes everything else can feel like its falling down around you.

Id like to think back to this day of infamy in a happy way- I say this because if im currently reading this with my Sarah beside me, all married and together then thinking about bad things wont make me sad because I have the one thing that can take all those bad times, memories and issues away. Even though things feel tough right now I know my path - I know what I want and im sure as I read this in the future I am going to have achieved this... else I will be reading this alone and I will be sad cus my happy thing wont be there to take away the sadness. . . I dont believe this will happen though and it gives me the will to see another day because my strength isnt tied into those around me - I want to survive and I want to achieve what I set out too and if this is the only thing to keep me going then so be it- itll have been worth it if im reading this final line and im happy that this sad time is just a mere memory and a blimp in the time that is my life.

So a a bad time doesnt mean the end of anything. It makes you want it more. It makes me try harder and battle on until I've won whatever I am fighting for. Bad times are temporary if we make use of and appreciate our times of happiness and love because nothing can compare to that feeling.

Emotionally drained it feels but never giving up... Remember that future Mattsy and Saree - things get tough but they always have a funny way of working out for the best if you try, yuo believe and fundamentally you want them too more than anything else.